Something that stuck with me a while back around March 2nd was hearing that ER doc talking about one thing that pushed her to become the doctor that she was at the moment. She said, "if there's one thing no one can beat me in, it's working hard and long. I can work harder than anybody."
She also said, "don't let anyone work harder than you." Honestly, I think that's what got me through my undergraduate education. I worked my ass off and got amazing results. I worked the same amount in medical school but found that it wasn't enough; but you know what? Of course it didn't work out. The workload for medical school is MUCH GREATER than that of undergrad. Why did I think that would work? Why did I find myself becoming afraid of studying? Why didn't I just work harder? I think the answer to the latter is that I DID work harder, but again, I needed to find out what it meant to work harder.I AM good at adapting to change, what happened was (and yes, this is an excuse) that the change this time was too great. I don't want to believe it but it really was a huge change for me. I wish I could say that I overcame it in time but I didn't, instead now I'm taking a year off and performing research as well as studying in the mean time.
This give a good opportunity though. With hard work, I really do get more inspiration for working on other things in the mean time. I can be more creative, I can work on ideas that I've had brewing in my brain since I'd rather be thinking about those instead of studying, apparently; etc.
I know now that I must dedicate A LOT more time to studying than I have been, and do it consistently. I want to sleep early tonight so that tomorrow the day is my oyster. I want to go to the gym, make time for errands, and do lab work as well as study.
Tomorrow everything really will fall into place, I say this as I make the groundwork for it tonight.
V
