First real day of studying - remembering how it felt during those four years.

Today I woke up late again. It was expected, seeing how I finally fell asleep at 4 am after watching many youtube videos from my insomnia I've been having lately. I woke up feeling defeated, like I couldn't wake up early even if I had tried. I reminded myself of my mantra in order to lead a productive day which was, "if you want to be productive in the day, leave the house as soon as you can." With my new laptop, this is possible.

My next thought was, "where do I go?" Immediately I was hopeful to see if Barnes & Noble closed late today. They did. 11 pm. Awesome, now I motivation to get ready and leave, which is what I did. By 2:30 pm I left the house and picked up Jenn to go to B&N.

I was so productive today, I was so happy. I felt like I did back at UCF, taking little breaks and just working working working. I wasn't TOO efficient at studying, but I made a decent amount from the book "Clinical Neuroanatomy Made Ridiculously Simple" which is a great start and into to Neurology. Tomorrow I will review my notes and build up on what I started today. Maybe even make my studying more efficient or find a better way to make notes. I know I said that before and that process took... 2 years to do. What I mean to say is that I LIKE the way I make notes, which has been the same way I've taken notes throughout UCF (which served me well). Maybe I can try SLIGHTLY ALTERING the way I do it like using less words or using more contractions and shortcuts to the technique so my notes do not end up become so verbose.

At any rate, I will continue making notes in the way I learn the best, which happens to be Q&A format. And tables; tables are awesome.

I learned something else today too. HAVE FUN. Man, my brother and I (and I guess my whole family) are terrible at this. If you don't have fun, you can't truly relax. Do what feels great and use that the cool off. Even if it's for an hour, DO SOMETHING YOU SINCERELY ENJOY. I have to add that to things I realized that is important for my mental well being.

Studied a bunch, played DDR X, went to IHOP and studied some more + ate. Now I'm writing in here. Here's hoping I wake up early tomorrow, I have a good feeling I will :).

V

First thing's first - Leave the house

I forgot what I was going to write.

Writing here in the blog at 1 in the morning, for me, seems a little out of place. I should be asleep. I have no stresses and nothing to worry about at the moment. I wish I could just sit down and study. Honestly it's what I think about constantly. Why can't I do it? Why why why? I want to be how I was for all of my life. It's like something was taken away from me at some point. I want it back. I need to fight for it to get it back. People really do look up to me, the people I left behind. I don't want to disappoint them. I don't want to continue to disappoint myself.

V