"Work Hard, Plan Well, Fear Nothing

January 17^th, 2014

It has been just a little over two weeks since the new year began. I spent most of December at home with the family compared with the other months during my LoA. I want to write more on how the last month has been , but perhaps on another occasion. I would  like more to emphasize on what the new year means to me.

Last year was the year of self-improvement. Last year was pretty successful in that regard. Jenn and I really buckled down and focused on improving ourselves through each other and the use of external aids like therapy and books. Self-discipline was ok, it could have been better. Overall, last year was very valuable.

This year, we have declared it to be the year of , “Work Hard, Plan Well, Fear Nothing.” I feel that it covers the most important factors for doing well finishing second year and proceeding onto the third year. I think of this motto often and it helps drive me to do better; especially the fear. Fear is something that paralyzes a lot of people and I feel that I am especially vulnerable. I don’t want to be afraid anymore and so I simply won’t be. Fear can be found in times where I don't want to do something for seemingly no reason. For example, right now I am at Pasion del Cielo and I have been here for one hour. It took about forty minutes to get started writing in here which was my principle purpose for coming here in the first place. Why did it take so long? I wanted to use the bathroom but it was occupied for the longest time so I didn't want to settle down and write. I was talking to people and procrastinating. It wasn't until I decided that I will sit down and actually do it that I began to write in here. I also need to work out today, but will I really feel up to it after I leave here? There really is no reason why I shouldn't go. There is an invisible barrier saying to me, "you're already home and changed, you shouldn't leave to go to school and work out." When my parents said things like that to me I thought it was dumb and silly and now I find myself telling me these defeatist things. I will go to the gym later, even if it is inconvenient. 

Work Hard. Plan Well. Fear Nothing.

V